Week #2

23rd - 30th April

Week 2

Week 2 done!

I  have found this week so much harder than the first one. I think I was so excited & on a high last week that I sort of floated through in a dream. It didn't seem real. But now this second week it's hit me more & I'm actually realising how hard this is going to be. I was so confident in week 1 but I've had a few moments this week when I've lost all motivation & really struggled. But I'm here, starting week 3 & I'm not about to give up now!

Food side I've really struggled with. A few times when I've felt so overly full; (my stomach is still so small that I get full very easily); I've paniced that I'm over eating & gone back to the counting calories again in my head. Disappointingly I've thought I just want to give up & crossing my mind to cut down on food the next day to compensate but I have stayed strong! I normally only get these thoughts when I'm in bed on a night & my mind runs wild; but by the morning & I've had a nights rest to calm down I'm fine. Ready to start a new day with happy, positive thoughts!

 

I think one of the reasons why I've been so stressed is because I've felt so much more pressure this week. Mainily off a few people who I wont name as it's unfair & not their fault but it's still really affected me. I found that I'm being rushed to quickly to be 'back to normal' again; it's only week 2 after all & I'm still finding it so hard with such a long way to go. It will take me probably years to fully recover so expecting me to be back to normal & see changes after only 7 days is insane. It makes me feel guilty that you can't see any physical or proper mental change yet; I feel like I'm not trying hard enough even though I know I'm putting my everything into this.

However the exersice part is more postive. I've found even after just a week I have been upping some of the weights in my programme. Meaning I'm actually gaining strength with I'm so happy with!! Finally! Especially on my upper body workouts; I am over the moon that I'm gaining there as my arms are my weakest & worst point as they have no muscle mass there at all. So onwards & upwards!

I also felt brave enough to try another new food this week. This time it was a real fear food; or I should say drink as I always avoided liquid calories before. I thought I'd try a Vita Coco drink as I know the electrolytes are supposed to be good for after workouts. It was actually really nice; not what I was expecting though. Another thing to tick off my list :)

A few people like my mum & boyfriend have said I'm starting to look really well, not so tired & I have actual colour/life in my face again. So I know that not many 'gains' will be seen for a while but the fact that I'm looking healthier already is a real boost.

So bring on week 3! Hopefully I'll be able to control these low points better.

 

Week 2 achievements

• Tried a new fear food (Liquid calories)
• Upped my weights in my programme
• A few days felt confident enough to up my calories with a snack 

Week 3 goals

• Try some more new foods
• Add some more exercises to my programme with Lee
• Up the weights even more!
• Not panic as much

Love